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In the video above, you can hear how Kane’s wellbeing is helped by doing work that makes him feel good about himself and shows him that he is a person of value – things that he really struggled to see when he was younger. There’s so much to Kane’s story, that we couldn’t fit it all one video, though. Read more about his story in the interview below:
So, Kane – having met you already I know there is a lot we could discuss in terms of ‘success’ with you. But what do you think should be the focus of your success story?
The focus is really on how I’m now able to get a job, or even do a CV or an application, because at one point that was never thought of. Obviously, my Mum had faith – but everyone else was like ‘what is this kid gonna do with his future?’ And even I wondered what I was gonna do.
I got kicked out of mainstream school and, when that happens, you think ‘am I ever gonna be able to get back to what everyone else is doing?’
I was in Year 9 when I was kicked out, I was about 13. I’d had plenty of issues leading up to that but at 13 there was a final straw, and I was gone. And then until they find you an alternative provision, or a ‘special school’, they have to find something for you to do – so I went to a charity which was brilliant and I met a lot of great people there. But then later, still at 13, I went to my specialist school.
Physical activity to support wellbeing
When you think back to that time, then – why do you think you were kicked out? Do you think it was justified or was there a misunderstanding of your needs?
I’m quite real about my behaviour. I think that some of the things I was in trouble for at the time I was justified in what I did, and the approach was wrong. Some of it could have been avoided. Other things, I can’t condone what I did – the final thing I was kicked out for was a physical altercation, and I can’t condone fighting. So it’s a mix, I think.
Well yeah, you’re right to say you don’t condone violence and it’s nice to hear that – but I think we also know that when someone so young is acting in that way, it’s usually because they are struggling with something.
Exactly. And I don’t do it now. I train, I do martial arts and MMA and I love it – but the last thing I’d want to do now is fight someone.
That’s interesting Kane, great to hear you are channelling that energy. This is a bit of a tangent, but could you tell me a bit about how all of that helps your wellbeing?
Well, I got into it as a kid. I attended a few Ju-Jitsu lessons and I liked it, but I didn’t really get it then. And then at college, I really starting training in jujitsu until I ended up competing. All of it just taught me a lot – it kept me fit, it’s the social aspect, and it just kept me busy and gave me a routine. And I just felt fitter, and when you feel fitter you have more confidence and that just spreads to everything.
It’s an outlet, you’re exerting force, you’re using power – and that feels really good. And you’re getting some of the feelings that you are dealing with out. If I’d learnt this earlier, I think I would have known that fighting is a serious thing that you have got to respect. I think that would have helped me a lot.
Success in supporting others
Well that’s great that you have that now, Kane – I wonder what a difference it has made. So, to go back to why I was introduced to you for this project – I know you want to focus on how just being able to think about work at all is success for you, but you are doing some really important work at the moment. Can you tell me about the work you do currently and how you got into it?
Well, I actually do a few different things at the minute.
The first job that I got was working with two young boys – one of them has autism and the other has severe OCD and probably autism as well. Basically, I’m a friend to them – you could say personal assistant, but I say friend. I get them to go out and do stuff and talk to me, because they won’t talk to adults. I take them out and it gives their mum some respite.
And then my next role was with IAS Bolton, which is where my mum works. That is doing Autism In Schools work.
This was my first big step up, but Mum and other people thought I’d be brilliant at it because of the experience I had already. So I went in and I did it, and it was just perfect. Me and Sam, the person I did it with, were just the perfect team.
I did that for a year, and then a couple more opportunities to be involved in youth voice came along. I’m now finding out about whatever they want me to – the last one was involving EHC plans. I’d go to different schools and home visits or Zoom calls and speak to kids about their experiences.
Amazing, Kane – it sounds like you are doing so much. It’s very impressive. Can you tell me a bit more, then, about how you really made that step up?
So, doing the work with the young men was really the first stepping stone. They are quite challenging. So that really built my experience.
And then when Autism in Schools came about, they were looking for someone who could get involved. I was asked if I wanted to do it, and I was thinking about it but wasn’t sure, and then Mum really convinced me – she said she thought I would be great at it.
So I tried it, and it just came naturally. It didn’t feel like work.
I’d tried to work before, as a chef at Toby Carvery – there was no real cheffing and I was getting £5 an hour. So I quit after three days and I thought ‘what am I going to do now? I can’t do something like that. It’s too stressful.’
And that just spurred me on for this. So when it came so naturally, I just told Mum that I think I should get more work in this field.
It sounds like your mum has been a really key part of your development – can you tell me a bit about the role she’s played in your success?
Me and mum have come a long way. She is the most important person in my life, without a doubt. And her old boss has been great for me, too.
But mum’s influence stems from her general parenting and the way she looks out for me, even now. She’s always managed to secure the right support for me, the right schools – when I got kicked out of mainstream, she got it down to a managed move which meant it didn’t go on my record. She’s saved me like that a lot of times.
And the influence she has now, today, is just knowing that I have her backing and that she will give me real and honest feedback. And she’s made all these connections for me because she talks about me with all these people, and she just used my story to get people interested.
And that’s when I started doing more things like this, talking to people, before I had any work experience. And that’s got me to where I am now.
Honestly, in the time we have I cannot tell you enough about what mum has done for me. And the other important people in my life, because there are a few.
It sounds like those relationships have been really key to you doing so well, then. Could you tell me a bit more about how those support networks have set you up to get to where you are now?
Yeah, sure. So, the first one was my mum’s old boss – but before my mum worked for her. She was the head of the service that I was with at the time. My mum was a young mum, and I was a young kid who was, you know, kicking off a lot. So this woman came in to look at the school and what they were providing for me, telling them off because they weren’t giving me any support when I clearly needed it.
And then because of her I got my EHC plan sorted, so I got all that support. But the biggest thing she did was to do with helping my mum. Mum had a job interview one day, but I was kicking off at school and running away and she had to come and fetch me – so she lost out on that job. But Nicola saw something in my mum and offered to take her on as her understudy. So, my mum went to uni and then worked under Nicola. And now, my mum is the boss. So she was really important.
And in primary school, I had one teaching assistant who was brilliant; amazing support. And someone who gave me behaviour support sessions, which were brilliant. And we’ve kind of stayed in touch. I’m still in touch with all of them, really.
And there were a few people at my mainstream secondary school, but it was when I got kicked out that I really made memorable connections to members of staff.
There were three different head teachers, and then almost every single teaching assistant I went with; I loved every member of staff, and they were absolutely brilliant with me. Honestly, amazing people.
The impact on Kane’s wellbeing and feeling successful
And I imagine they’d be really proud to see what you’re doing today, Kane. So let’s talk a bit more about that. Can you tell me how the work you do now helps your wellbeing on a more general level?
Kane: Well, one thing is that I’m working, which is just a good thing to say to those people who believed in me. I have a job. I have money. I’m like a normal person. So, there’s that side of it.
But more importantly than that, is the actual work itself, you know; seeing changes made off the back of work I do, recording training that gets used across all the different schools, training that might end up being used to change laws and policies and stuff like that.
And I have a very personal connection with the work as well, so there’s that extra drive to do it. Especially like when I go back to my old mainstream high school and I see some of the same teachers there. And I remember some of the corridors and classrooms that I used to kick off in. And now I’m here, you know, talking to their kids, trying to make their school a little bit better and more inclusive. That’s really rewarding, how everything just kind of comes back round full circle.
What a journey you’ve been on, Kane. It must be amazing to be going back into your old school in this new capacity. What kind of advice would you give to anyone who is in the situation you found yourself when you were younger?
Kane: My advice would be is to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. You’re only a young person. No one’s got life figured out, even when they get to like 30. So why should you know what you’re doing already? Just try and take a step back.
School does have a big impact on the future, but it doesn’t, you know, set out who you are. There’s plenty of things you can do after school and school might not be right for you right now. But you’ve got to push through and eventually there is light on the other side. And that light looks different for every single person. The most important thing is that you find something that you care about and that makes you happy.
Wise words, Kane. Thank you so much for talking to us. It’s been a fascinating conversation. I have really enjoyed listening to how this work has made you feel good about yourself, and how that has improved your wellbeing and your life as a whole – this is exactly the kind of thing we hoped to hear about when we started the Success Project.
Thanks for asking me to be part of it, I really enjoyed it too.
